


Moments from a Symphony

by monkeyihihji



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But not as angsty as I usually am, Connie can somewhat hear it, Corrupted Steven Universe, Episode: s06e12 Bismuth Casual, Episode: s06e13 Together Forever, Episode: s06e14 Growing Pains, Episode: s06e18 Everything’s Fine, Episode: s06e19 I Am My Monster, F/M, Gem Fusion, Gems speak in song, Gemsong, Getting Together, I'm Bad At Tagging, Missing Scenes, Music, Steven Universe: Future - Freeform, pink steven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:00:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26315314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkeyihihji/pseuds/monkeyihihji
Summary: She loves it when he says her name because his Song chirps and it sends a thrill through her body at the idea of she's not supposed to hear it. She learns to listen to his Song whenever he speaks, but then one day she's not able to hear it anymore.
Relationships: Amethyst & Connie Maheswaran, Amethyst & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran & Greg Universe, Connie Maheswaran & Pearl, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Garnet & Connie Maheswaran, Garnet & Steven Universe, Greg Universe & Steven Universe, Pearl & Steven Universe
Comments: 14
Kudos: 101





	1. Beginning

Everything is gray. Gray and dull and confusing; it’s like any shred of colorfulness or individualism has been painted over in favor of monochrome. Pearl is holding her tightly against her body and Steven--oh god, Steven. White Diamond holds him in the palm of her giant hand and Connie screams again for her to stop. Despite all the claims of her mentor saying she wasn’t going easy on Connie during practice, it was now evident that it was a lie. Connie can already feel bruises forming along her body from Pearl’s grip--especially on her mouth from where Pearl had held the tightest.

Steven. She has to protect Steven. She struggles against Pearl’s arms and whines as her bony fingers dig in even tighter. She glances to where her sword is stuck in the ground and tears prick her eyes. They are losing. The Crystal Gems aren’t themselves and she has no clue how to get out of this situation. No.  _ No. _ She can’t cry. If she cries, then who is going to stop Steven from crying? Her schmaltz-loving best friend cries over everything; she needs to be the strong one. She calms herself and sets White Diamond with a glare, although it doesn’t matter because the giant woman is too busy reaching towards Steven again. 

She watches in horror as White Diamond pulls on Steven’s gem and Connie thinks she screams but she doesn’t know for sure. White makes it look so easy; like pulling a loose tooth out of a mouth. It’s disturbing and horrific, but Connie can’t look away. There’s no blast of light. No popping sound. One moment it’s in, and then the next it’s not. Steven doesn’t even scream, maybe he passed out? She had read somewhere that sometimes the body shuts down in traumatic experiences. This counts as traumatic, right?  _ Of course it does! It’s like Steven’s heart’s ripped out,  _ she yells at herself. 

Her theory must be correct because White Diamond--Connie swears she is going to kill the stupid white gem--flips over the hand that has Steven in it and the body falls. White Diamond--or any of the Crystal Gems--doesn’t seem to care, probably because she got what she wants, but Connie holds her breath. Her eyes trail downwards as Steven falls in what feels like slow motion. She knows that he’s not actually falling in slow motion because that would mean he’s floating but that would require Steven’s gem, which he currently doesn’t have. Every self-preservation thought leaves her mind as he hits the ground with a sickening thud and doesn’t move. With strength she didn’t even know she possessed, she rips herself out of Pearl’s arms, ignoring the scratches that burned from the gem’s sharp nails, and launches herself towards Steven. 

“Steven!” She calls and her breath catches in her throat as she reaches him. He’s pale and ashen; almost as gray as the floor. Dark bags are already forming under his eyes and--no. She’s not going to cry. She’s not going to cry because if she cries then that makes this final. He’s not dead, he can’t be. She checks his pulse and it feels far too slow, but it’s there. 

She wraps one of his arms around her neck and she puts one arm around his waist, with a grunt, she pulls him up. A voice similar to her mother’s screams in her ear that she’s probably doing more damage moving his body, but she doesn’t want to think about that. She wants Steven to be standing because then he’ll look more alive. Okay, this is good. He’s standing, well, sort of. He makes a sound similar to the noise he makes when he doesn’t want to wake up and her heart jumps to her throat at the sound. 

“Steven?” She feels her throat catch and she knows she can’t stop from crying this time. “Steven, please.” There’s tears now and she lets them fall down, she doesn’t want to try and stop them because that means that she’ll be thinking about herself and she needs to be worrying about Steven right now. “Steven, wake up! Look at me, please!”

As if on cue, his eyes open and relief floods her body. “Steven!” He’s looking at her but he’s not looking at her, in fact, it doesn’t look like he’s looking at anything. “Steven?” She calls again. Something is wrong, she knows it. 

He looks down, ignoring her calls. Maybe he can’t hear her? She thinks she hears him say something, but she’s not for sure. His hand is obviously shaking and it hovers over his star shirt before he lifts it up and--shit. Her mother doesn’t like the word, but she told Connie that it can be used in certain scenarios that seem big enough and this is a perfect situation. “No...? Where--where’s my?” He looks at her like he finally sees her. 

There’s no gem. Steven’s stomach is completely bare of the pink stone that she’s grown accustomed to, there’s not even a belly button. It’s so alien to look at so she looks anywhere else and her eyes meet his. He looks worse than he did five seconds ago and his eyes are begging for her to do something, but she doesn’t know what. She panics for a moment because what does this mean for Steven? There’s no hole. No way that the gem could go back in, if that is even possible. 

A sound distracts both of them and she looks up to see Steven’s gem glowing and chiming. White Diamond lets go of it and it floats slightly before bursting into a light form. She doesn’t recognize it right away, she doesn’t have any reason to. It’s silly because the only reason that she knows it’s Pink Diamond is because of the shoes; Connie remembers wearing them as Stevonnie. The form changes before she has any other time to react and now it’s significantly larger with an outline of a dress and spiral curls for hair.  _ Rose Quartz _ , her mind supplies. The gem forms again and it’s the most familiar out of all of them; Steven. She gasps in surprise as the light form solidifies and suddenly there’s a pink Steven floating in the air. 

Everyone seems shocked because there’s not a sound in the room as Pink Steven floats down. She doesn’t know what to do. She was so certain that the Steven in her arms is the real Steven, but now she isn’t sure because this pink version looks exactly like him. As he gets closer to the ground, Connie sees a blank look upon his face and she’s fairly certain she’s never seen such a stoic look from Steven before. His feet touch the ground--but do they? They didn’t make a noise--and he turns his head, slowly swinging his head across the room until he lands on Connie and Steven. It’s unsettling seeing no emotion on Steven’s face and she automatically doesn’t trust the… the thing that looks like Steven. 

Steven makes the first move. He pulls away from Connie and reaches out towards the pink version of himself with a shaky whimper. He takes a step and then falls with a solid thud--it sounds far too familiar from the first time he fell--and Connie by him in a second. “Steven!” She ignores the way Pink Steven reacts to the name, right now the one in pain needs her. 

“No,” Steven is crying and Connie doesn’t know what to do. She’s always looked to Garnet or Pearl for help but now they’re gone. “Please. I…. I need… I need it.”

He doesn’t sound like Steven and it scares Connie. His voice is softer and it sounds like something is missing. An odd thought comes to her and she thinks that if he sang with this voice he would sound like a violin. She doesn’t understand why, but it feels right. It sounds so  _ human _ and  _ wrong _ coming out of Steven. 

“What is this? Where’s Pink?” White Diamond’s voice pulls Connie out of her thoughts and subconsciously, she moves over Steven to shield him. 

Pink Steven stares directly at Connie as she does so. “She’s gone.” And he sounds wrong too. He sounds echoey and his voice travels down her body in tingles. He sounds fake, like a robot trying to mimic a human’s voice and getting close, but not exactly right. It’s a synthetic noise that grits on her ears and she clenches her teeth at the sound. 

“What did you say?” White Diamond sounds angry, “Answer me!” 

“She’s GONE!” Pink Steven shouts. 

Connie's ears scream in pain and she instantly covers her hands over her ears, desperately trying to block out the shout. It sounds like nails on a chalkboard and she’s getting a dreadful feeling that she’s maybe not meant to hear the sound. There’s loud cracking happening around her but she’s in too much pain to open her eyes--when did she even close them? Her ears hurt and she’s certain that she probably has hearing damage. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” White demands an answer. 

Connie opens her eyes and focuses first on Steven on the floor who has tears in his eyes and his hands over his ears, then she looks forward to see Pink Steven moving from a crater in the ground slowly towards the two. Her instincts scream to pull the human Steven away, but something stops her. Human Steven is shaking still but he tries moving again, reaching out towards his pink self, begging for help. 

“Steven!” It’s supposed to come out as a question, but instead she sounds surprised. She looks at her friend on the floor stretching out for the pink version of him that is walking closer. She has to make the decision of what is best for him. “Hold on.” She makes up her mind and wraps her arms around Steven and with a grunt--lifting with her knees like her dad taught her--she lifts him up bridal style. 

He’s a lot heavier than she expects and her arms burn and her legs feel like jelly, but she manages to take a step.  _ Come on, Steven, help me out _ , she pleads silently. He’s too weak though, she knows it, he barely is able to lift his own hand but he still is trying. She takes another step. And another. She’s not for sure who is shaking more, her or Steven. There’s spots in her vision and they float wherever she looks but she takes another step. Pink Steven is walking towards her too, his hands clenched in fists and she can see an emotion on his face now: determination. 

“Don’t you dare take one more step.” 

Connie wants to drop Steven and cover her ears, but she doesn’t. She keeps her eyes locked on Pink Steven’s and they both move closer. This is a moment like one of her books, if she just keeps preserving then she’ll be rewarded. She hopes the reward is a healthy, singular Steven. 

“That’s enough!” White Diamond calls and Connie isn’t exactly for sure what happens, all she knows is that there’s a blinding flash of light and when it clears, Pink Steven has stopped walking and there’s a pink, ragged shield cast around him. She stop, too, whenever White Diamond shouts and there’s another round of blinding light.

Pink Steven counteracts that too with another jagged shield, it’s similar to Steven’s bubble not not exactly, it has edges that are almost diamond shaped. She feels Steven slipping and she tries bumping him up with her knee. He takes a sharp breath and she sees the tears still streaming down his face. Did he look this pale earlier? They are running out of time. 

“Don’t you raise your shield at me!” White growls and Connie watches her eyes glow white. Then she notices Blue and Yellow’s eyes doing the same. Actually, every gem in the room, besides Pink Steven, eyes are glowing and, with dread, she realizes that they are all aimed at Pink Steven. “I only want you to be yourself, if you can’t do that, I’ll do it for you!” Light streams out of every gem’s eyes directly towards Pink Steven. 

Connie closes her eyes and holds Steven tighter against her. She opens an eye against the bright light and, after taking a second to adjust, sees a faint glow of pink under the beams of light.  _ Please be alive. Please be alive. Please be alive. _ She feels the tension in the room grow and grow and suddenly, everything becomes slack like someone cut it with scissors. A wave of energy hits into her and she doesn’t know how she does it, but she stays on both feet. She sees the Crystal Gems skid across the ground and there’s two thuds from Blue and Yellow as they hit the floor. 

“Please, stop! You’re hurting them!” Human Steven squirms in her arms and his voice still sounds wrong in her ears but she takes comfort in it nonetheless; it means that he’s still alive. 

There’s a giant thud and suddenly Connie is launched in the air before somehow managing to land balanced on one foot. She looks to her right to see the great White Diamond laying on the ground. Did Pink Steven do that? The answer to her question could wait she decides as she sees said glowing figure walking towards her with clenched fists. She struggles, her body begging her to stop, but she takes a few more steps and suddenly Pink Steven touches her hand. Everything seems to pause for a moment at the touch, it barely feels like anything but she knows of the power that radiates underneath him. She tries to swallow her fear, but she knows her legs aren’t just shaking because of exhaustion now. 

Steven is reaching for his twin and Pink Steven has the same blank face on as before. She doesn’t want to let go. All she wants to do is turn and run with Steven and take him away from all of this shit--yikes. Her mom never has to know she used that word twice. 

“Here.” Her voice sounds far more confident that she feels as she hands her best friend over. She backs away slowly and she feels Steven arm slide off her back. She lied earlier about her legs feeling like jelly, now that there was no more reason to stand, she feels like falling backwards on her numb legs. 

Human Steven takes a moment and then he’s laughing. It sounds flat in her ears, like he’s out of tune which is silly because she knows that Steven isn’t an instrument. He’s not a violin. He’s not synthetic music. She knows this, but she can’t help but think it anyway. Pink Steven starts laughing too and he’s out of tune as well; sharper than normal. 

“What are you doing? Pink, why are you laughing?”   


They start to spin and Connie can’t help but notice that their laughter sounds  _ almost _ right together at certain moments. The odd association of violins and synthetics mix in Connie’s head and she can’t help the smile that breaks across her face. They keep spinning and laughing, and suddenly, there’s another white light, similar to when Pink Steven was forming, but now it overtakes both Stevens, leaving one giggling Steven in his place. 

Connie wastes no time before screaming his name and launching herself at him. She nearly breaks down in sobs right there when she feels his arms wrap around her. He’s here! He’s alive! She breathes in his familiar smell of laundry detergent and salt from the ocean. Steven.  _ Her  _ Steven. “Are you back together? Are you  _ you _ ?” She pulls herself away despite not wanting to stop touching him. 

“Yeah! I’m me… I’ve always been me.” 

His voice washes over her like a song--he sounds like himself. He sounds like his ukulele. He sounds like Jam Buds. He sounds like his laughter; not too sharp, not too flat, but perfect pitch. He sounds like if a video game had a violin section and she loves it. It’s him. Purely him; Steven Universe. She wants to hug him again because now she knows that no matter what, things are going to be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So this idea was only supposed to be around 5k but then something happened and it ended up being close to 20k! Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading!


	2. Discovery

A lot of things change quickly after a few months after their trip to Homeworld. The Diamonds, for instance, visit Earth and they work with Steven to fix the damage they caused to the corrupted gems. Said corrupted gems have a choice to stay on Earth or go back to Homeworld; a lot of them chose to stay on Earth. There is even talk about opening a small town for them! The Crystal Gems are back in action, making sure that every gem  _ and _ human are taken care of. And Steven. Steven, her amazing, best Jam Bud in the entire world, changes too. He looks happier and calmer all at the same time. It’s probably because now he doesn’t have the stress of the Diamonds threatening to destroy his home. 

Connie supposes she’s changed too, but the funny thing about change is that you never notice when it happens to you; you just assume you’ve always been this way. For starters, when the group had gotten back, her mom made her start therapy. It helped--and still helps--a lot about the whole issue revolving around the fact of her best friend almost dying in her arms. She focuses more on being around Steven, making sure that her homework is done even faster so she can hang out with him. She stands up for herself more, now that she knows that nothing can be as bad as standing up to a giant alien, things are a lot easier. Well, most things. 

There are still things that are difficult for her, like talking to the Gems about what happened with White Diamond, or seeing Steven asleep--one time she freaked out and woke him up because she thought he might be trying to split again. She can’t stand light reflections because they remind her of White’s eyes. She doesn’t like to be held too tightly because sometimes she still feels Pearl’s arms arms around her. She also completely refuses to wear dull colors now; she threw out all her gray and white clothing one night much to her mother’s chagrin. 

“Bored?” Steven’s head is suddenly in her lap and his large brown eyes are looking up at her with worry. 

She smiles down at him and shakes her head, “Nope. Just thinking.” Albeit, a party is an awful time to be thinking. It’s Mr. Universe’s birthday and Steven wanted a party with the whole family and she’s touched that he invited her along with the Gems.

“Is it about Dad’s birthday present?” Steven pokes her cheek, “I already told you that he’s gonna love it! He always needs new guitar strings.” 

She pokes his cheek back in retaliation, “No, silly, I’m just thinking about everything that has happened recently.” 

“It’s a lot, huh?” He doesn’t sit up, but there’s a shift in his tone and she associates it with a violin ritardando; his song slowing down as he reflects with her. If she can focus hard enough, she can almost hear the music in his words. 

That’s another thing that changed. Ever since Homeworld, Steven sounds different; his words almost sound like a song to her. There are moments where she easily imagines an entire string symphony behind his words and other times where there’s a synthesized beat. Most of the time, these two combine and she thinks she hears a melody of what she’s starting to recognize as something purely  _ Steven _ . Sometimes though, some parts are louder than others and she’s reminded of when he was split. 

Connie runs a hand through his thick curls and he closes his eyes at the motion. It’s hard sometimes to imagine that this is the same person who took down the Diamonds, especially when she has him acting like Cat Steven. “It’s crazy to think that this is our lives.” 

He opens his eyes and leans his head to one side to watch Mr. Universe trying to teach Pearl how to hold a guitar. She watches his face as it curls into a soft smile, “Yeah. I wouldn’t want it any other way though.” She imagines a small violin melody over a synthetic harmony and it's so tangible that she almost thinks it's real. 

She follows his gaze and can’t help smiling herself. Mr. Universe looks stressed out, Pearl looks confused, Garnet is standing in the corner with a small smile on her face--although, Connie isn’t sure where she’s looking because of the gold glasses, and Amethyst… wait, where’s Amethyst?

“Lookin’ for me?” Suddenly the purple gem is standing in front of her. 

Connie blushes and shakes her head, “No, I wa--.” 

“Uh huh, sure. Come on, get your butts up.” She pulls Steven off of Connie’s lap and with him, goes the warmth from his head. 

In the most Steven manner, he doesn’t even look bothered, instead he smiles at Amethyst. “Got something planned?” 

“This party is dead, dude. Where are your jams?” 

He pulls his phone out of his pocket with no questions and hands it to her, “Here?” 

“Sweet.” She winks at Connie and Steven before taking the phone. She unlocks it and Connie can only assume she’s opening his music app before plugging it in to the speaker dock on the coffee table.

Suddenly music explodes in the small beach house, causing almost everyone to jump in alarm. It’s a deep, bass rhythm and Amethyst nods towards Steven, “Respect, little man. This is a great song.”

It’s Steven’s turn to blush before he’s pulled again, this time off of the couch and into the center of the room by Amethyst who starts dancing around him. Steven looks confused for a moment before he starts following suit. Connie can’t help the giggle that bubbles out as she watches the two look like complete dorks. The giggle stops short though as she remembers that the common way of fusing is through dance, and while she loves Smokey Quartz, she doesn’t want to watch Steven fuse right now; it still brought up too many memories. 

“Connieeeeee!” Amethyst calls, “What are you doing looking like a sad sack!? Come one! It’s a birthday party, not a deathday party!” 

Well, it’s not like she could refuse the offer. Connie stands up and joins the other two and moves around slightly. She still doesn’t like dancing in front of people that aren't Steven, but she’s getting better! If anyone notices, they don’t say anything and she’s grateful for it. She has to agree with Amethyst; Steven has great taste in music and she even notices Garnet tapping her foot. It’s nice and she feels herself losing herself to the music right when the music shifts into something slower and instrumental. 

Amethyst’s reaction is instant, “Booo! Come on, P! Don’t change it to your boring stuff!” 

Pearl looks up from where Greg is now showing her certain notes on the frets of the guitar, “What? I didn’t change it.” 

Amethyst rolls her eyes, “Well, I don’t think it was Garnet!” The accused fusion raised her hands up in an innocent pose. 

“Guys, don’t fight!” Steven begs, interrupting everyone. 

“No, Ste-man. We’re gonna figure out who changed the music.” She focuses on Mr. Universe, “What about you?” 

Connie shakes her head, “He’s teaching Pearl how to play guitar, it can’t be him.” 

“It was me!” Steven shouts, causing everyone’s heads to turn. “It’s my music, okay? You put it on shuffle.” 

“You listen to this crap?” 

“Language!” Mr. Universe and Pearl shout at the same time. 

Steven nods, “It helps me relax. I like it.” 

“Huh.” Amethyst must’ve changed too, Connie thinks, never in a million years would the purple gem be so calm about this. “Cool. It’s nice to have options.” 

A smile breaks across Steven’s face, “Yeah? That’s pretty cool of you, Amethyst.” 

“It makes sense that Steven would like this. It kinda sounds like him,” Connie says with a shrug as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. 

Apparently, though, it’s the wrong thing to say because she suddenly has three and a half--she counts Steven, but only half--gems staring her down. Mr. Universe just looks at her confused and she doesn’t understand what she said wrong. It’s finally Pearl who speaks up: “You mean, the music reminds you of Steven?” 

The string concerto is still playing, but it now feels like someone came in and muffled the speaker with a pillow. “No?” She looks at her mentor and tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “It sounds like how I imagine him to sound sometimes? Wait. No, that doesn’t sound right.” She gets a hard look from Pearl and she wants to look at her feet, but no. That’s what she used to do, now she keeps her head held high. “It’s, uh… so sometimes when he talks I like to imagine that there’s music under his voice? Like a constant song, I guess?” 

Pearl is silent for a long time and it makes Connie worry that she’s done something wrong. She hasn’t though, she knows this. There’s nothing wrong with imagining things, she would think that Pearl of all people would understand that. Connie looks to Steven for help and he takes this as his cue to say something. “What’s wrong about it? She’s just hearing my Song.” 

Now Connie feels even more confused; she’s certain that Steven just claimed her imaginary music as his own and that didn’t help at all. “Your  _ song _ ? What does that mean?” She feels her heartbeat begin to quicken. “Is this a gem thing!?” Panic starts to swell in her chest and she tries using her therapist’s tricks to calm down. 

A hand is on her shoulder and she realizes that she’s breathing heavily. “Calm down,” Garnet’s voice centers her. She takes a few more breaths, slower this time, and nods. Garnet takes this as a sign to continue. “Gems aren’t like humans; so we don’t speak like them either. It’s called Gemsong. It’s how we recognize each other, much like how humans recognize different voices.” 

“Humans can’t hear Songs?” Steven asks and Connie practically can hear the capitol “S”. 

“Human ears don’t work on the same frequency.” It’s Pearl who answers, and Connie is a little thankful; Garnet’s explanations never make much sense and even though Pearl uses more words, she has had more practice talking to humans. “For example, when you hear Garnet speak, you hear her voice. I, however, hear… well,” She looks at the bass guitar in her arms and strums the strings, “I hear something similar to this.” She keeps strumming the strings as she speaks. “Different chords. Different speeds. To me and Amethyst--and maybe Steven--her words don’t matter to us as much as what her Song sounds like. She sings to us what we need to know.”

Connie takes a moment to process this. “So… it’s your own language. Garnet talks, or sings, a melody and depending on how it sounds you know what she’s saying and feeling?” 

Pearl nods, “More or less, yes!” 

“How am I hearing it though? You said human ears don’t work on the same frequency.” 

Pearl frowns at this and glances at Garnet. “I… I don’t know. I’ve never heard of a human hearing our Songs.” She looks over at Mr. Universe who shakes his head. “I wonder if it’s because you two have fused or maybe...”

Pearl is going off on a tangent, but Connie doesn’t focus on it. She tries wrapping her head around this, but she falls short and feels frustrated. Connie is smart, she knows she’s smart, so she should be able to understand the foundations of a different language. It doesn’t bother her with the fact that she can hear it, what bothers her is that she doesn’t understand it. “But Steven doesn’t sound like a bass guitar.” 

“We all have different Songs.” Steven interrupts, “Garnet sounds like a bass guitar. Pearl’s Song is like a piano. And Amethyst is drums. I don’t know what I am though. I guess violins?”

“His Song is like chiptune.” Amethyst speaks up, surprising everyone. “What? I like music. I pay attention. ‘Sides, he’s got this whole retro sound going on like an old video game and I like that.” 

“That! That actually makes sense!” Connie starts to feel relief that maybe she’s understanding. Combined, they would probably sound like a jazz group which makes total sense; each member doing their own thing, but in the end coming together to make something beautiful. “I remember thinking it sounded like a video game! That doesn’t make sense with the violins though?” 

Pearl sits the guitar down and places a finger to her mouth, thinking. “Rose sometimes had a violin-like sound, especially after spending time with Greg.” 

“Maybe it’s a human aspect.” Garnet offers. 

It’s Steven’s turn to shout: “That makes sense!” He gets excited and waves his hands around. “Dad always sounds like an acoustic guitar.” He looks at Connie, “And it’s kinda weird that Connie hears violins in my Song because that’s kinda what I hear with her… maybe an oboe too. I dunno.” 

Pearl takes her extreme attention away from Connie and focuses on Steven, “Impossible. Steven, humans don’t have Songs.” 

It’s a rare moment when Steven stands up to the gems; Connie has only seen it a handful of times, but like her, he seems to be braver after Homeworld and he sticks his little chest out. “You’re wrong.” He ignores Pearl’s gasp. “I hear human Songs all the time! Like right now, Connie’s is going super fast and it’s like she can’t find the right tempo.” He looks at her with sympathy, “I’m sorry. I thought everyone could hear it.” 

Of course Steven would be apologizing for something gem related. “No, it’s not your fault. How could you know?” Not for the first time, she feels a little overwhelmed with all this gem stuff. She wonders how Mr. Universe handles all of it, especially the part where Rose gave up herself to make Steven. Poor guy, she looks over to where he’s now sitting on the couch and feels kinda bad for him. She takes a steady breath, trying to--as Steven put it--find the right tempo. “With the moments I do hear music when Steven talks, I hear  _ chiptune _ most of the time. Sometimes I hear other things, like violins when he’s being extra kind to someone… or when he’s really tired. I hear this weird synthesizer music when he’s really mad or he’s trying to prove his point, mostly when he’s frustrated.” She decides against telling them about when he was split, that would probably cause even more stress. 

“This is--” 

“So cool!” Amethyst interrupts Garnet and grabs Connie’s arm, “Do you hear mine?” 

She tries, really she does, but it’s different now that she knows she’s not imagining the music. “No? Steven says you sound like drums though?” 

Her excitement fades, “Ugh. You’re probably only able to hear Steven’s because you have a connection or whatever.” 

“Amethyst is right.” Garnet says.

“I am?” 

Pearl frowns, “She is?” 

“Don’t act so surprised, guys!” Steven puts an arm over Amethyst’s shoulders and Connie can’t help notice that maybe he’s gotten a little taller. “Amethyst is right about a lot of things… wait, what is she right about this time though?” 

“Steven and Connie have a connection. I wonder if that’s affected her ability to hear Gemsong.” Garnet looks between the two. “More specifically, his Gemsong.” She shows the smallest hint of a smile, “It’s like they’re in tune with each other even when they’re not fused.” 

Connie is even more confused now, “So I can hear Steven’s Song because…” 

“You two are connected. You must’ve learned it through Stevonnie.” 

Oh. That made more sense; there are things that she knows as Stevonnie that she doesn’t know as just Connie, maybe one of those things rubbed off into her mind. It makes her wonder if Steven knows things about school that he normally wouldn’t because of Stevonnie. She also wonders what it would be like to speak through Songs like the gems; how beautiful it must be. Not for the first time, she feels a little disappointed that she’s only Team Human Beings with Mr. Universe and not this fantastic solar powered rock like the others. She looks at Steven who looks so happy and she offers him a smile in return. It has to be hard to be the only hybrid and not know what parts of him are human or not. 

“That’s really cool.” She echoes Amethyst's words and she hopes they don’t sound hollow. She really is excited about the whole thing, but it’s just a lot and she needs to think about it on her own. Steven somehow looks even more excited and he hugs her in a crushing grip and she thinks that even though she doesn’t understand it right now, she will try her hardest so it makes Steven feel less alone with his powers.


	3. Songs

Connie learns more about Gemsong from Steven than any of the Gems. He’s so excited to share it with her that, in normal Steven fashion, he goes a little overboard. He takes her into Beach City and he describes what everybody sings like. He says that human Songs are a lot quieter than gems, and that he can only hear them when they talk, and Garnet theory is that he’s able to hear them because he’s a hybrid. It makes sense to Connie. She’s glad that he gave her a few days to think over the whole ordeal before asking to hang out. She hadn’t told her mother when she had gotten home that night, or the days to follow either. The thing about her mom is that she already doesn’t like gem stuff or even Steven for that matter and now that Connie is even more connected to him she doesn't think it would go ever well. 

Now that she’s aware of the fact that she’s not imagining the music in Steven’s voice, she listens for it more. It’s a little unsettling to know that the synthetic pizzicato notes are his voice in the gem language and that she’s really not supposed to hear it, but it’s comforting in some way; it’s like another way that he can be himself around her and who is she to judge him for it? 

She learns a lot that day about her friends on the boardwalk. She learns that Ronaldo sounds like an old horror movie. Petey sounds like elevator music. Steven tells her that Sadie sounds like an indie vocalist and Lars--wherever he is--sings like a clarinet. He describes the sounds like it’s nothing, like teaching a kid that two plus two equals four. It must be weird for him too, she thinks, he always thought this was normal. 

At one point, they pass Onion and Connie asks Steven what the smaller boy sounds like and he gets deadly serious and gives her a haunted look. “Metal scream.” 

She bursts out laughing and grabs her sides when it starts to hurt but Steven isn’t laughing, in fact, he looks dead serious which makes her laugh even harder. She wipes the tears from her eyes. “I can see that.” She giggles some more. 

“It’s not funny!” He insists. “The kid barely talks but when he murmurs something it’s like a slap in the face!” 

This sends her into another round of giggles, and this time, Steven joins her. They make their way to the Big Donut and Steven whispers in her ear that Dewey’s Song is really similar to Wii music and she nearly falls to the floor with giggles. He has to pull her through the door with both their donuts in one hand. It’s a great day, a fantastic day even. 

It becomes somewhat of a tradition for them, almost everyday they go around to different people and chat. Connie tries to listen for the music underneath the human’s voices, but she has no such luck. They try with gems too! Now that there are more and more uncorrupted gems deciding to make their home on earth there’s no longer a shortage of gems. Steven has a harder time describing the gems’ Songs to Connie; he says that it’s hard to describe the music in human words and she thinks she understands somewhat. She relates it to how Pink Steven sounded; how it hurt her head and sounded echoey all at the same time. She had a sneaking suspicion then that she wasn’t made to hear that sound and it’s only confirmed with more and more gem stuff she learns. 

She’s getting better at hearing Steven’s Song over time and soon, she doesn’t have to strain her ear to hear it. Before, she would only hear the music occasionally, but now she hears a constant melody floating under his breath when he speaks. It’s a perfect balance of strings and synthetics; human and gem. They discovered a while ago that most humans don’t have the artificial sound in their Songs and they came to the conclusion that most gems do.When he sings--lowercase “s”, because there is a difference now--his Song is still there and it flows as a harmony with whatever he is creating. 

She tries to mimic it one day and he stops her nearly instantly. “Don’t.” His Song sounds like a warning and she immediately deflates. 

“Sorry.” 

It’s his turn to deflate too and he grabs her hand. “No! It’s not bad--I don’t really know what I sound like to others… it’s like… hearing a recording of your voice?” 

“Oh yeah, I hate that!” She hates hearing her voice on videos, so much that sometimes she refuses to speak all together when someone starts recording. 

He leans back in the sand and throws an arm over his eyes to block the sun, still holding her hand with his other arm. They’re having a beach day and they’re both aware of the dwindling time that they have together now. In just a few days, he’s going to visit Homeworld for awhile and she knows it’s silly, but she’s scared he won’t come back. She worries that he might like it there more than Earth; he’s a Diamond, he sorta belongs there. She follows his suit and lays back in the sand--she’ll worry about getting it out of her hair later--and closes her eyes. 

“Steven.” She starts out, not exactly sure how she wants to word her thoughts in a way that won’t worry him. Her therapist says that bottling up these feelings is bad though and she doesn’t want to feel worse than she does right now. 

“Connie.” His Song chirps when he says her name and she loves it. 

She takes a deep breath and focuses on things she can feel. She feels the sand on her bare feet. She feels the sun on her skin. She feels the salt from the water drying on her legs. Most importantly though, she feels Steven’s hand still in hers and she uses it to anchor herself. “You’re going to come back, right?” 

She feels him move beside her and she opens her eyes to see that he’s shifted to his side to look at her. “Of course I’m coming back.” He’s using his soft voice and his Song dances underneath like a lullaby. 

Tears prick her eyes and she closes them quickly again so he doesn’t see her cry. “I just don’t want to lose you.” She finally says after a moment of silence. She’s not sure why she feels this way, maybe because she’s almost lost him every time he went into space before this. 

“You won’t.” He says firmly and for a second, his Song takes a more artificial sound before relaxing back to it’s balanced chiptune. “I’m going to visit like all the time! It’s like I’ll still be home. Besides, you’ll be so busy with school that you won’t notice I’m gone half the time.”

She doesn’t mean to but she sniffles and she feels a shadow cross her face. She opens her eyes to Steven leaning over her with a small smile. It feels wrong to be the one crying and needing comfort, usually she tries to offer that to him, but she surges up and wraps into a tight hug. He buries his face into her neck and she breathes through his curls. She feels herself calm down and she feels herself start slipping.

Four hands suddenly become two that are wrapped around themselves in a protective manner. They open their eyes and see only one set of legs and feet before them. Their toes wiggle and a laugh bubbles out. “I”m me!” Stevonnie grins. “I haven’t been me since… Homeworld.” 

The happiness feeling fades away and it’s replaced with something that makes their chest heavy.  _ Connie and Steven don’t have happy thoughts about that _ , they decide. It’s conflicting unhappy thoughts, but not rough enough to tear Stevonnie apart, just enough to make them feel upset. They remember having the gem pulled out of them and they grip Steven's gem at the center of their stomach, but they also remember how much their arms burned while carrying his body. 

“I didn’t know it felt like that.” They whisper to themselves. “I didn’t know you were that scared.” It isn’t Connie talking to Steven or the other way around; it’s both of them saying it together at the same time. Stevonnie holds themselves again, feeling balanced. 

They sit and watch the waves crash against the sand as the sunsets. They don’t talk much, they don’t feel like it. Both counterparts know that this is one of the few last moments they have with each other and they don’t want to ruin it. Eventually the sun is gone and they know that Connie has to go home.They take one last breath and suddenly there’s two people instead of one. Steven’s hand is still in Connie’s and she doesn’t mind one bit. 


	4. Waves

Connie doesn’t remember the last time she’s seen Steven in person. Ever since Little Homeworld opened, it seemed like he spent all his time there, but he doesn’t run that anymore. It’s not just his fault either, she’s a busy person too, especially with Cram School. She thinks that this may just be how adult friendships are; you meet when you can and then you go back to your busy lives. Wow. She can’t believe she would ever miss the days where her life was in danger with gem stuff, but she kinda does just because it meant more time with her Jam Bud. 

Sure, they text about things on and off during the day, but it’s not the same. She wants to see his silly face, hear his Song chime, and kiss his lips. Not that they kiss! No, they don't. Nope. But she wants to and she thinks that maybe he wants to too. She looks at her at her phone and then taps it anxiously against her leg. She doesn’t want to bother him with whatever he’s doing, but she misses him. 

Amethyst had freaked her and her parents out the other day when she came over to talk. Connie had known something was wrong then because Amethyst never just wants to  _ talk _ . It turns out that the Crystal Gems are worried about him and strange things are happening; temper tantrums, weird dreams, and talking cacti. Connie knew some of these things from what Steven had texted her, but it seemed like he had downplayed the severity; even Garnet is worried and that’s something that rarely happens. 

Connie had promised Amethyst that she would monitor Steven but to do that, it meant that she had to see him. She looks down at her phone again and chews on her lip slightly. Daniel and Patrica had mentioned a roller rink that they visit frequently and she thinks that maybe it would be a fun date with Steven. Yeah, a date. Like, hold hands kinda way. She wants that and maybe it’ll help Steven… figure out things? 

**(4:30 p.m.) Hey there, Biscuit!**

He used to respond instantly to her texts but now there’s always a little gap in between where she finds herself freaking out that she’s annoying him.

_ (4:32 p.m.) Strawberry! whats up?  _

**(4:32 p.m.) Study break :) You?**

_ (4:33 p.m.) Gross studying is the WORST! _

**_(4:34 p.m.) Hey, so do you want to do something this weekend?_ **

_ (4:38 p.m.) honestly i think that would be really great _

**(4:38 p.m.) Great! There’s this really cool roller rink that we could go to!**

The responses stop and Connie is scared that she’s overstepped a boundary somehow. Maybe he doesn’t want a date? Or maybe he’s freaking out about her asking him for a date. Maybe he’s freaking about freaking out about thinking that this is her asking him out. Shit, she might be the one freaking out actually. Is freaking out even a phrase at this point? It sounds overused now to her. 

She taps her phone on her leg again and clicks it on and off, checking for responses. “Chill, Connie.” She tells herself, “It’s only been like three minutes. He probably hasn’t even seen it.” 

She tries distracting herself with studying even if she is on a break right now; she needs something to focus on. Five minutes pass. And then ten. She shouldn’t have sent the message! She bangs her head on her notebook, wincing at how hard she accidently hits it. That’s it. He doesn’t want to be friends with her and he’s just pitying her. Is this what it’s like to feel ghosted?

_ (4:52 p.m.) Sorry! My phone died but i’d love to go! Is it cool if pearl and bismuth come too? I guess pearl has some friends who go there and she wants bismuth to meet them _

**(4:52 p.m.) Yeah! That’s totally okay! Pick me up at five tomorrow night?**

_ (4:52 p.m.) IM EXCITED! _

It’s fine. It’s totally fine and she’s super excited too, except, she’s not. Maybe she should’ve been more clear that she was asking him on a date? She takes a deep breath and puts her phone away. She’s not going to be picky about how she spends her time with Steven considering how little it already is, but she is a little disappointed that other people will be going. Still, she sucks it up and goes anyway. 

And it’s… sort of a disaster. Steven picks her up, already blaring music with Pearl and Bismuth in the back seat. He looks, to slightly filter Amethyst’s words,  _ freaking _ awful. There are bags under his eyes and he’s paler than normal; she instantly knows something is bothering him and she wants to talk about it. But he doesn’t, and he sings practically the entire way to the rink. She usually doesn’t mind his singing, but it sounds off pitch somehow and she thinks it might be because of his Song. 

His usual balance is gone and some moments are filled with jagged notes followed by a haunting echo of a synthesizer. It sounds like two different versions of the same song being played three seconds apart and it makes her worry for him. It only gets worse when she spots her friends too. The more he talks to her friends, the more gem-like notes his Song gets and the more scrambled his voice becomes. It’s odd because he used to be so charming around anybody. 

In hindsight, she probably shouldn’t have left him alone to go skate with Daniel and Patricia, but she’s still annoyed at him and sometimes that meant doing things she wants instead of what he wants. Besides, he told her to go anyway! She does feel bad though, especially when he falls on his face trying to skate towards her. 

“Connie, I’m sorry.” He’s still sprawled out on the floor and she’s a little unsteady while leaning down to face him. “I don’t want to hold you back.”

Hold her back? She wanted to come here to skate with him! “I don’t mind.”

He looks down and she suddenly has a feeling he’s not talking about skating. “You've got cram school, new friends. You're going places, and I'm happy for you. But I feel like you're drifting away from me. I wish we could reconnect, but--I don't know how to skate!”

It’s a lot to take in all at once and she blinks in surprise. That escalated quickly and then fell just as fast. He’s worried about drifting apart… because he doesn’t know how to skate? “Skating is what you’re worried about?” That’s not right and she knows he’s deflecting, and she’ll give it to him for now but she decides that there’s going to be a talk between them. 

Sour Cream interrupts the moment and a small idea starts to form. She looks down at the poor boy in front of her and she holds out her hand. “Come on, I have an idea.” 

He takes her hand and suddenly they’re together. It’s been a moment since they had been Stevonnie and it’s almost overwhelming, but they keep it together. And it’s like slipping into a jacket that you haven’t worn in awhile because the weather hasn’t been the perfect temperature; a little stiff and first and then you remember why you love it. They don’t know how they know how to skate, they just do, it’s similar to how they knew how to drive a car. 

It’s a thrill and a rush and Stevonnie is gone as quickly as they came. Connie isn’t sure if it’s her who chose to unfuse or Steven, but she feels lighter anyway. She thinks Steven does too by the way he Sings his thanks to her; it’s much more balanced, still not quite right, but better. He even handles talking to her friends better! The night ends so much better than it began and she almost forgets that she wants to have a talk with him before it’s too late. 

They’re back in the car headed to drop her off before Steven and the gems head home and she reaches out and touches his arm gently. “Take me home last?” It makes for a long drive for him, but he likes car rides, so he agrees. Besides, if he’s tired when they get to the beach house then Lion can portal her home. 

When the Dondai is parked in the sand and Pearl and Bismuth say their goodbyes before heading inside, Connie unlocks her seatbelt and opens her own door. “Come on,” She calls over her shoulder to him before closing the door behind her. 

“I thought I was taking you home?” He follows her and his curls move slightly in the breeze coming from the ocean. 

She doesn’t say anything and she walks closer to the shore, past the stone hand. The moon reflects against the waves and she pretends that each wave crashing against the shore is flooding her with confidence. She wants nothing more than to slip off her shoes and wade in, but then it meant that her socks would fit uncomfortably later and she’ll track sand in her bed. 

“Is everything okay?” Steven asks her and she turns to look at him. 

“It’s funny you ask because I was going to ask you that.” 

The light is dim but she can still see him look shocked before he recovers, “Yeah. Everything’s great!” 

Another wave crashes, and with it, more confidence. “I don’t think it is.” She pauses for a moment before adding, softer, “I don’t think you are.” 

“What!? Pssh, no!” He lies, and she knows he knows she can tell. His Song is all over the place and it sounds panicked and rushed. 

“Steven.” She warns, not wanting him to deflect like earlier. 

He sighs and he kicks off his sandals before edging closer to the water. “Did one of the Gems tell you?” She nods. “How much do you know?” 

“Amethyst says you're turning pink.” 

“So it was Amethyst,” she hears him mumble. 

She finally takes off her shoes and socks to stand closer to him. Distance feels wrong right now. “Is it like…” How does she even word it? “When you were… two?” 

He sighs and the waves crash against both of their ankles. “No, it’s just a new power. Nothing to worry about.” 

It’s a lie again, and Connie hates to do it, but she lets it slide for another time. She doesn’t want to talk about gem stuff tonight, she wants to talk about them. She looks out across the dark water. “So, do you really feel like we’re growing apart?” 

“I dunno. Maybe.” 

She feels the urge to grab his hand and she gives into it; his hand is so large compared to hers now. “Because I feel that way too. It’s kinda like when we were little and we would avoid each other.” 

Steven jerks and looks at her. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean fo--” 

She turns to face him, “Hey, don’t do that. Don’t apologize for something that is both of our faults. You can blame yourself saying that you’re busy with Little Homeschool and I can chalk up my flakiness to studying and schoolwork. I don’t want to focus on all the bad things that we’ve done to make us feel this way… I want to talk about ways we can fix it.”

“I don’t want to get in your way.” He looks down. 

“You’re not!” Okay, maybe she said that a little forcefully, but it gets her point across and she has his attention. “Steven, you could never be in my way. We’re in these things together, remember? Jam Buds.” 

“Jam Buds.” He repeats after hesitating. 

“Why don’t we both make an effort to see each other more, okay? I have study breaks everyday, we could work something with that.”

Steven hesitates again, “Maybe we could videochat? Or Lion could bring you over for a little bit?”

She sighs in relief at his participation; she didn’t want it to be only her making the plans. It has to be the two of them coming together, otherwise that would never work. “And maybe I can try getting some weekends free and we can hang out then?” 

The moon reflects in his dark eyes and she hopes that she hasn’t upset him. His hand is still in hers, but with his free one, he reaches up and cups her cheek. “I’d like that.” 

He doesn’t act like it’s a romantic gesture, and maybe he doesn’t even know that it is. She leans into it with a sigh. She forgets how much she misses him sometimes; it’s an overwhelming ache all over and it only subsides when he’s near by. “I miss you.” She whispers. 

“I miss you too.” He whispers back as he brings their foreheads together. 

They stay that way for a while, their heads together as the waves crash against them. It’s quiet and usually there’s no trouble filling the silence with words, but it’s like an unspoken agreement that neither of them want to ruin the moment. She thinks this may be the longest she’s gone touching him without turning into Stevonnie--it’s nice. Steven shifts and suddenly there’s pressure against her lips and it takes her a second to realize it’s his lips on hers. Kissing! Oh my stars, he’s kissing her! She mentally freaks out and he pulls away as quickly as it happened. 

“Sorry.” He says nervously, his Song ringing like a bell shaken by a toddler. “I should’ve asked. Lars told me that you should always ask and make sure that whoever you're with is comfortable with whatever you do. Oh man,” He runs a hand through his curls, and is Connie imagining the slight pink light coming off of him? “I probably just messed something up, huh? Great! I keep making mistakes and I do--” 

“Steven.” She stops him with a finger to his lips. “I liked it.” 

“Y-you did?” Whatever pink glow there was fades away and the only light to see from again is the moon. 

It’s so innocent and pure, and so Steven that it makes her smile. “Yes. I liked it a lot.” 

“Good because I’ve wanted to do that for a long time, maybe since before you kissed my cheek? And then I freaked out when you asked me to go to the roller rink with you because it sounded like a date but I wasn’t for sure? So I asked Pearl to come and she asked Bismuth which kinda made it like a double date because I think they both have feelings for each other and then I pan--” 

She cuts him off with a kiss on his lips because she can now and it quiets him instantly and she feels him kiss back. It makes her giddy and the tickling warm feeling returns and her toes curl in the sand. She breaks the kiss, “You worry too much.” 

“If worrying too much means we do that again then I’ll worry forever.”

Connie giggles at that and her giddiness is infectious because soon he’s giggling too. It feels like they’re kids again and she loves it. She might even love him, she’s not for sure. Everything is moving so fast and so slow at the same time and the only thing in focus at the moment is him. 

“Connie Maheswaran.” His Song does the usual chirp when he says her name but it sounds even better when he includes her last name. “How dare you say  _ I’m _ the one who worries too much.” 

There’s so much more she wants to say, but she figures that they have time. For once in their crazy lives, there’s time just to stand and watch the waves crash and the moon rise. There’s no gems trying to kill them, there’s no sudden trips to space, and there’s no immediate danger around the corner. It’s just her and her Steven facing whatever comes next. 


	5. Wrong

Sometimes Connie is wrong and she hates to admit that. She’s been raised to be smart and be prepared for every scenario. She’s not ready when Steven proposes though so she tells him that, and that one day she will! And she thinks that after that, everything will be okay. She’s wrong. Instead, she has to take him to the hospital but that’s okay, because everything will be okay after that! She’s wrong again because everything is completely  _ not okay _ and Steven goes missing. She’s so angry and frustrated and she wants to blame herself for not seeing this sooner. 

The proposal should’ve been a sign. The swelling in the hospital should’ve been a sign. Him dodging her phone calls and texts should’ve been a sign. There are so many things that she just ignored in favor of dealing with them later, but now it’s later and he’s nowhere to be found. She keeps trying to call him, but she doesn’t get through. Yesterday, Connie, Mr. Universe, and Pearl had searched the entirety of Beach City to see if he was haunting any of his old stomping grounds with no such luck. Garnet and Amethyst were off planning searching too and they found nothing. 

She’s supposed to be studying right now, but she can’t focus with the fact that he’s gone and she pulls the old worn red shirt she “borrowed” closer to her face. It smells old now with just a hint of Steven, but she refuses to wash it because then it’ll just smell like laundry detergent. She needs him to be okay. She pulls her phone out and scrolls down the long list of outgoing calls. Steven’s name is repeated about twenty times, she mentally marks twenty one as she pushes his name and calls him again. 

She hopes for an answer and she nearly drops the phone when his voice echoes through the speaker. “Hey Connie! What’s up?” 

“Steven!” She drops the shirt and clutches her phone. His voice sounds weird, maybe even lower. “Good, you finally picked up!” How does she even approach this subject so he doesn’t get mad and hang up? The gems said that he’s been pretty irritable lately. “I can’t believe we haven’t spoken since the hospital! How are you?” Smooth. 

“I’m great, never better.” His voice cracks. 

She’s starting to get really annoyed with these lies. He just disappeared and now he’s saying he’s fine!? “Really?” Her skepticism laces her voice. “Have you had any more issues with swelling and glowing pink?” 

“Um... Nope?” He doesn’t sound so sure. “Well, maybe, but how about  _ you? _ How's college prep?” 

“Steven, that's, uh- It's fine,” He’s deflecting again and she’s letting him! Damnit! “But what do you mean “maybe”?”

“Look, there’s nothing to worry about. I’m okay.” 

This makes her worry more, “Steven!”

“I should go. I don’t want to wake the gems.” 

“They don’t even sleep!” 

“Uh, bye!” He hangs up on her. 

The phone is silent by her ear and she stares at her notebook in front of her. He did not just hang up on her, right? Ugh! He’s doing it again! He’s avoiding her and then making her feel like the guilty one. She closes her books, there’s no way that she can focus on studying, and she slips on her shoes. Anger and concern force her out of her house and there’s no Lion with her, so she takes the bus towards Beach City. She’s tired of him blowing her off and he can’t hang up on her in person. They talked about this, they had an agreement! She pulls out her phone and calls the first person that comes to her mind.

“Connie?” Mr. Universe’s voice crackles in her ear and it’s oddly comforting. He’s like a second father to her despite all the differences between him and her actual father. 

“Hi, Mr. Universe. Are you still in town?” 

“I am, what’s up?” There’s concern in his voice and Connie’s back in the hospital room calling him about Steven’s swelling again. 

She leans her head against the seat in front of her. “It’s Steven.” 

“What’s wrong, is he alright? Do I need to go back to the hospital?” 

“No.” She sighs, “He’s just acting weird and I don’t know how to handle it.” 

There’s a pause and she worries that she’s said something wrong. “Sounds like you need a Team Human Being meeting.” 

She sniffles, when had she started crying? “That would be really nice, Mr. Universe.” 

“I’ll meet you at the car wash.” 

It’s about a twenty minute bus ride to Beach City and during that time, she calms herself. Connie doesn’t want to be a sobbing mess in front of her boyfriend’s dad, heck, she doesn’t even want to be a sobbing mess on a bus but they day is proving to be against her. By the time the bus stops, she’s sniffle free--thank goodness--but her eyes still feel red and puffy; she has half an idea just to stay on the bus and ride back home, but she knows she can’t. 

It’s not that far of a walk from the bus station to the car wash and she’s thankful for the cool air. She tries calling Steven twice while walking, just to see if he’s okay, but there’s no answer and it makes her want to cry all over again. She sees the car wash sign and her body sags with relief. There are so many memories here from when she was younger and it’s comforting. 

She’s not even fully on the driveway when the building's door opens and Mr. Universe steps out. And… right. Steven had told her that something had happened to the van. She doesn’t know all the details; all he had said was that there had been a car accident but him and his dad were okay. 

“Hey there, kiddo.” He walks towards her and wraps her in a hug which, apparently, is something that she didn’t know she needed. 

She pulls away after a few seconds and tries to smile, “Hi.” 

He leads her to two lawn chairs where they both sit down. “Now, what’s going on between you two?” 

Connie folds her hands in her lap and stares at them, more specifically, her ring finger. “Well, you know about the proposal… and the hospital visit.” 

“Sounds a little familiar.” How does he do that, she wonders. How is he able to maintain such a calm persona around everything? Maybe it’s because he’s been dealing with the gem stuff much longer than her. 

She slouches and shoves her hands into her hair and clutches her head, “I just don’t know what’s going on with him! He’s avoiding me and saying that everything’s fine when everything is clearly  _ not fine _ ! He goes off the grid for days and finally he answers his stupid phone only to say that he’s great and then he hangs up!” Tears flood her vision again and they drip down her face. “I don’t get it.” 

There’s a strong arm wrapping around her shoulder and Mr. Universe pulls her into a semi-hug, it’s awkward around the chairs but she doesn’t pull away. “Well, first, I can say that without a shadow of a doubt that it’s nothing you’re doing.” 

“Are you sure though!? I caused him to glow pink and swell up!” 

“Hey, that wasn’t your fault, kiddo.” He pauses for a moment, “I think he’s going through a rough patch right now.”

She chokes back a sob and Mr. Universe holds her tighter. There’s a tiny part of her concerned with the fact that she’s ruining his sweater but the comfort is too nice to pull away. “He just won’t talk to me.”

“Maybe he’s scared,” He offers. “He doesn’t want to worry you--or anyone for that matter.” 

“But doing by doing this he’s making me worry even more!” 

Mr. Universe hums, “Are there things that you don’t tell him?” 

So much, actually, especially with how stressed she is with Cram School or college. “Well, yeah, but I don’t se--” 

“Why don’t you tell him?” 

Connie pulls away and looks at the older man, “Because… because I don't want to worry him.”

He takes this time to take off his tear and snot strained sweater off to reveal a t-shirt underneath. He reaches over and brushes some hair out of her face like her dad does. He offers her a smile. “See?” 

And she does. The whole time she has been worried that Steven blowing her off meant she did something wrong, but that isn’t the case. He did this once before when they were younger and it was because he was trying to protect her from worrying then too. “Thanks, Mr. Universe.” 

“I think it’s okay for you to call me Greg now, Connie.”

She manages a weak smile and feels her phone buzz in her back pocket. Steven’s calling! She quickly pulls it out to answer but she stops when she sees what’s on the screen. For some odd reason, there’s a glitching video of Steven glowing pink and dancing odd while saying, “Steven’s here to help! Steven’s here to help! Steven help--Steven--Help Steven. Help Steven.”

“Mr--Greg!” She shoves the phone in his face, “Something’s wrong!” 

It hurts her heart to watch how Greg’s face falls while watching the video; she forgets how fiercely the man loves his son sometimes. “Let’s show this to the Gems.”

Connie is thankful that Beach City is small because they’re at the Beach House in under ten minutes and luckily the gems are already home. She shows them the video and in return they share what their interactions with Steven were like today. Anxiety burns through her veins and she doesn’t remember sitting down, but apparently she does because suddenly Greg’s beside her along with the rest of the gems. They’re discussing something--probably Steven--and all she is doing is watching the odd video over and over again. 

She wonders if all of this could’ve been avoided if she had noticed sooner. She could’ve helped him. She should’ve been more there for him more instead of studying. She should’ve focused more on skating with him. She should’ve stayed on the beach after he proposed. If she had just done things differently then maybe he wouldn’t be glowing pink on her phone. 

There’s a trill of bells that she recognizes as the warp pad followed by a bright light in the room. She stands up before the light leaves the room and her legs are wobbly, but she can’t focus on that right now. She has to focus on: “Steven!”

The light disappears and the man in question stands before her large and glowing pink, “Huh?”

Any hopes of this somehow being an easy fix are shattered when she she’s the diamonds in his eyes. “I knew it! You are swelling and glowing again. I’ve been trying to call you, but I came as soon as I saw this.” She pulls her phone out of her pocket and the awful video begins to play again. Steven walks closer to see the video. “What is going on?” 

“I broadcast my subconscious sometimes these days. It's really no big deal.” His Song sounds wrong in her ears; it’s echoey and mechanical and it reminds her so much of Pink Steven at Homeworld. 

She’s not going to let him deflect this time; she won’t let whatever is happening get worse. “Okay, but I can tell something is bothering you.” She holds up her phone again and the video begins to glitch.

To her dismay, he laughs it off. They’re all worried about him and he’s laughing! Even his laugh didn’t sound like his regular skip of chiptune, “I don't know what you're talking about; I'm  _ fine _ ! Awesome, in fact. Come on, you've seen me when I wasn't doing well.” 

White monochrome walls and a pink glow--oddly reminiscent of the one Steven is giving off now--flash in her vision. Yes, she’s seen him when he wasn’t doing well, but that was when he was dying! This is… this is something worse because at least then she was able to help him; she doesn’t know what to do right now. 

Greg takes a turn at talking, “Steven, if being like this is what you want, then we'll support you one hundred percent. Whatever makes you happy. But, if you're not happy, if something's wrong--” 

“Nothing’s wrong!” Steven sounds far too anxious and his Song gets louder. “Besides, I don’t want you to worry.” 

This is the last straw for her and she yells back, “We are worried!” She’s so worried that she feels like she needs to puke. 

Greg says something too but she’s too focused on noticing that Steven is only wearing one flip flop. Where’s his other shoe? How long has he been without his shoe? She needs to find it. He needs it. Without the shoe his foot is vulnerable to stickers, broken glass, rocks, and so many other things that are hidden in the ground. He could seriously hurt himself without the protection of the pink footwear. It’s dangerous without a shoe and she needs to protect him. She has to protect him from everything. 

Pearl and Amethyst move to block the door and she follows suit; she must’ve missed something while focusing on his stupid shoe. “Hold up, dude.” Amethyst holds up her hands. 

Garnet is behind Steven, blocking his exit to the warp pad. “Steven, you have to stop running.”

“Please.” And Greg says practical instead of the begging mess Connie would’ve sounded like. 

There’s silence in the room as all eyes are on Steven. He moves his clenched fists to his head with a groan and it’s like a balloon swells up in his head. It’s disturbing and it looks painful despite what he told her at the hospital. The hospital! That’s how she can help him! “Steven, we should get you back to the hospital.” 

“HOSPITAL!?” Amethyst and Pearl scream at the same time and it’s ironic to Connie that they’re finally on the same page. 

“When were you in the hospital?” Pearl sounds terrified. Connie can’t blame her either, Steven is like her son. 

“You didn’t tell them?” And now she understands how Steven felt when she didn’t tell her mom about the engagement. Connie had thought it was nothing to worry her mom about and Steven must’ve thought the same thing with Pearl. 

Steven groans and swells again, and shit. That has got to be painful. “It wasn't that important, you guys. You're making a big deal out of  _ nothing _ .” His Song is giving her a headache now and she knows now that she’s not meant to hear it this way. It sounds like how she imagines a diamond sounds; fortissimo, ominous, and powerful. It sounds so different from his normal Song and it scares her. “Have I done some things wrong?  _ Sure _ ! I trashed the house today. I broke an anvil. What teenager hasn't? Dad and I had a little disagreement. That's practically a rite of passage!” Connie looks to Greg to see if he can hear the violent cacophony of music emanating from his son, but there’s no evidence that he can. The gems seem to be hearing something though and they’re on edge. 

Steven continues like he doesn’t feel the tension in the room. “I mean, it would be weird if we  _ didn't _ , right? And  _ maybe _ , I've had a not-so-nice thought or two about, like, you know, slamming White Diamond's head through a pillar, but it's not like I actually went  _ through _ with it! I only  _ actually _ shattered Jasper!” 

No. No, he didn’t do that. He  _ couldn’t _ have done that. This is Steven! He loves everything; he’s a lover not a fighter, and most definitely not a shatterer. “You’re--you’re joking, right?” But she knows he’s not. She feels it in her core that he’s not. Steven had shattered Jasper while she was probably worried her stupid schoolwork! She should’ve been there for him! 

Steven’s staring at her and it’s unsettling in numerous ways. One, his pupils are diamonds. Two, he looks absolutely insane. And three, it’s almost wrong for her to see emotion on his face while he’s glowing pink; part of her tells her that he should be emotionless and stoic instead of smiling too widely. 

“Oh,  _ don't worry _ ! I fixed that too! I can fix  _ anything _ . I can just keep messing up and fixing things forever, and you'll never have to know or think about any of it!” His Song changes again and gone is the loud synthetics as it slowly gets quieter and quieter. 

“Steven--” Garnet starts. 

“How messed up is that? That I've gotten away with this for  _ so long _ .” He sounds angry now and the fake smile slides away. “You have  _ no idea _ how bad I am. You think I'm so great, and I'm so mature, and I always know what to do, but  _ that's _ not true! I haven't learned a  _ thing _ from my problems! They've all just made me worse! You think I'm so great, and I'm so mature, and I always know what to do, but  _ that's _ not true! I haven't learned a  _ thing _ from my problems! They've all just made me worse!” His Song is the quietest she’s ever heard. “You think of me as some angel, but, I'm  _ not _ that kid anymore!”

Steven looks down, “I’m a fraud.” He falls to the ground with tears in his eyes, “I’m a fraud.” Hiis words sound hollow and empty and with a start, Connie realizes it’s because she can’t hear his Song at all. There’s nothing under his voice except for grief and pain. “I’m a monster.” 


	6. Ending

Connie tells Nanefua to start to evacuate to the shelters to protect the townspeople from… from… a corrupted gem? She doesn’t say that the thing--it feels wrong to say monster--is Steven. She knows that it is, but she doesn’t want to accept it. Steven’s fine. Steven is fine. Steven isn’t fine though and he’s like this because he didn’t want to accept it either. She closes her eyes for a moment and memories don’t let her rest. 

Pink scales. 

Screaming. 

The roof and walls exploding into pieces. 

And Steven. He was there one moment with scales growing out of him and then the next, he just wasn’t. There was no chirping of his Song--in fact, she couldn’t hear his song at all. All there she could hear was roaring. Steven was gone and a giant foot and tail were in his place moving outside towards the beach. 

They had followed him, of course, and thankfully Lion had shown up to help out. What else were you supposed to do? Just let a giant, scaly version of Steven Universe roam the coast of Delmarva? She had hoped he was friendly, but she knew that probably wasn’t the case because corrupted gems rarely were. Her hopes were dashed when he had started crashing against the Obsidian Statue. She started to feel even more hopeless when Garnet had told her that he might stay that way too. 

Connie opens her eyes and looks out towards the beach and she hears the roars from Steven echo all around her. People run past her and Lion and all she can do is stare. _ Steven is probably so confused with everyone trying to catch him _ , she thinks to herself. All he wanted was not to worry or hurt people and now he’s doing the exact opposite. She wonders if he’s able to think in that form; if he is himself, or something else. She catches a glimpse of a familiar spiky-haired ship and her blood runs cold. 

Lion must sense her uneasiness because he tilts his head back as if to look at her to say that everything will be okay. She scratches behind his ear and feels a tear slide down her cheek. “What if the Diamonds make him worse? Yellow and Blue don’t understand his human emotions and White…” She grits her teeth. “White only ever sees Pink Diamond when she’s around him.” 

Lion rumbles a response that falls flat on her human ears. 

“They’re going to probably blame themselves for what he’s going through.” She wraps her arms around her waist. “Even I did. I thought he was avoiding me because of something I did, but it’s just because he didn’t know how to talk about what he was going through.” She frowns, “Why!” 

The thing about Steven is that he’s always available to help somebody. He would bend over backwards for somebody who is sad or upset, so why is it so hard for him to ask the favor to be returned? Heck, Connie doesn’t even know how many times she’s asked Steven for help or advice over the years and, now thinking about it, he rarely did the same. Steven never asks for help. 

Connie wipes her face and holds tight to Lion, “Alright, boy. Steven’s been there so many times for the both of us and now we have to return the favor.” 

Lion seems to get the hint and he races through the streets of Beach City towards the beach house. She feels guilt well up inside of her for all the times that she never offered to help Steven, but she ignores it. Now isn’t the time for her to feel sorry for herself; she has to focus on Steven, which means that she can’t hide away from White or the other Diamonds. 

They come over the hill just in time to hear White lamenting about all of this being her fault and Connie can’t help but agree with her. A lot of the things Steven went through originated from White herself and Connie can’t help but hate her because of it. 

“YES, IT IS!” She yells as Lion makes his way to the shore. “Yes, you hurt him, but this isn't the time to make this all about you! That is  _ not _ helping! Maybe Steven would care how sad you are because he always puts everyone else's feelings first! But he can't do that for you right now, because he needs us this time! We all had Steven when we needed him, but the only person who's never had Steven is Steven! He's always been there for us, so,” She sighs and remembers her words to Steven after the roller rink. There’s no point in focusing on all the things they’ve done to get to this point, they need to focus on what they should do next. “How can we be there for him  _ now?” _

It’s odd to watch everyone work together, despite their differences, to save Steven. Connie knows she should be more appreciative of the moment but she’s only focused on her boyfriend stuck in the water. Steven has to be in there. The thing roars again as it shoves the Cluster down and it hurts her ears but she doesn’t cover them. Instead, she strains her ears to see if she can hear anything reminiscent of Steven’s Song but there’s nothing. She would rather have him split again than this. 

Garnet gives them the signal and suddenly everyone is rushing towards Steven at once. Running, floating, flying, and riding. Connie’s in the middle of the group holding on to Lion for dear life. There’s no room for error, this is their only shot. She doesn’t let herself imagine what will happen if this doesn’t work. Garnet launches herself at Steven and holds him into place, followed by Lapis, the Diamonds, and everyone else. 

He’s growling, and then he’s whining, and finally Connie hears it. It’s so very faint and it’s so brief that she thinks that maybe she’s imagining it, but she tells herself otherwise. It’s two little notes that twirl around each other under a whine that escapes him after Pearl says something. They’re sharp and flat, yet together they would sound perfect and it’s enough for Connie. 

Lion leaps up and portals her closer to Steven’s face where she jumps on to his nose. It’s unnerving to see him so still but she uses it to her advantage and she walks closer to where his nose reaches his eyes. The entire time black and pink eyes follow her and she holds her shoulders up high because now she’s certain that this is going to work. She heard Steven’s Song underneath everything; he’s still under all that pain.

She rests her head against a section of his forehead and she can almost imagine skin instead of scales. “Steven,” she says his name with certainty that he can hear her, “You must have been so afraid to show us this side of yourself. But we're not going anywhere.” There’s tears again, and this time, she lets herself cry in front of him; she can be strong for him and still show emotion. “We're all gonna take care of you the same way you take care of us. You know what? I don't have your powers, but…” She doesn’t know what compels her to do it but she kisses him.  _ Please come back. We’re here for you. I’m here for you.  _

  
  


Steven sleeps for the next eighteen hours and she honestly can’t blame him for doing so. She knows she’s always wiped out after a breakdown, so she can’t even begin to imagine how it feels after corruption. The Diamonds stayed for about two hours after Steven turned back and good riddance. Connie didn’t hide her distaste from them and she put herself in front of him anytime one got too close; she’s pretty sure at some point she saw Garnet smile at her when she did so too. Screw the notion that they were Steven’s family. His real family are the ones who accept him no matter what. 

Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot stayed for eight hours but eventually they left to go fix the damage to Little Homeworld from an infestation of Cacti Steven. Garnet sits on the stairs and doesn’t move from her spot. Pearl stays in the kitchen fretting about how hungry Steven will be when he wakes up and Amethyst is her taste tester. Greg rests on the couch and Connie knows he said he’s going to sleep but she has a sneaking suspicion that he’s wide awake under closed eyelids. 

Connie stays right beside Steven for eighteen hours holding his hand, laying beside him, and flipping through his old books. She doesn’t want him to wake up alone and no one questioned it when she stayed in his bedroom after they all left. Her mom didn’t even try fighting her when she had called telling her what happened, she had only sent her prayers to Steven. She thought that he would be riddled with nightmares but, surprisingly, he sleeps soundly. She checks his vitals and breathing every hour. 

When she finds herself getting tired, she sings to him. She sings anything from songs that she’s heard on the radio to songs they made up when they were little. She’s in the middle of one when he wakes up: “Ingredients in harmony, we mix together carefully…” 

“Come on and share this jam with me.” Comes the croaky response and she nearly drops the ukulele she was strumming on. 

“Steven!” She jumps on the bed without even thinking and pulls him close. 

There’s no chuckle that he usually gives when he hugs her but that’s okay because his breath hits her ear and confirms that he’s breathing. “Connie.” 

And it doesn’t even matter that he doesn’t laugh because she does between tears falling down her face because his Song chirped the special way it always does when he says her name. His Song is back and it’s a relief that starts from her head and floods down her entire body. Sure, it still doesn’t sound quite right but it’s far better than it was just yesterday and she’ll take whatever she can at this point. 

“You’re not mad?” He asks slowly and she has to pull away from the hug to give him a stern look which probably looks weird with her puffy face. 

“No.” She holds up her hand, “We’re not starting this off about how I feel. How do  _ you  _ feel?” 

He looks down and grief is written all over his features, “I’m fine.” 

She gives him her best ‘Mom Look’. “Steven,” she starts sweetly, “You need to tell me the truth so we can help you.”

There’s silence for a few seconds and she thinks maybe he’s ignoring her before his voice cracks, “Bad.”

It’s a start, she figures, and she’ll accept it. She brushes the curls away from his forehead, “Good. I wouldn’t expect you to feel great after everything that happened.” 

He looks up at her with tears in his eyes, “I’m sorry.” He finally whispers. 

“Oh, Steven.” She pulls him into a softer hug and this time, he hugs her back. It feels more like he holds on to her for dear life and it’s a little too tight, but she doesn’t say anything. This isn’t about her, it’s about Steven right now. 

She holds him as he cries and it hurts her heart to hear him sound so broken. Garnet’s head appears at the door and quietly she makes her way to the bed where she sits down and wraps an arm around Steven and Connie. Amethyst is next; silently, she comes and sits in between Connie and Garnet. Pearl and Greg come in at the same time and both of them hold on to each other as they sit on the other side. Greg wraps his arm underneath Garnet’s and Pearl moves both of hers on to Connie and Greg’s back. 

Steven starts crying even harder and still, no one says anything. Connie is crying too and she hears sniffles from the others around her. She doesn’t know if she’s crying from sadness, relief, or tiredness, but she keeps crying. Steven’s sobs are the loudest in the room and, eventually, he quiets down but no one moves. 

It’s Greg who breaks the silence. “We’re going to take care of you, schtu-ball.” 

“Yeah, man.” Amethyst is next. “We’re right by your side no matter what.”

Garnet wipes off her glasses, “No questions asked.”

“We’ll be here with you every step of the way until it’s over.” Pearl ruffles Steven’s curls.

He doesn’t let go of Connie but he does lift up his head from her shoulder. “What if it’s never over?”

Connie kisses his forehead, “Then we’ll help you again and again. As much as we need for you to know you have nothing to fear and we’re right here.”

  
  


The next weeks are filled with many more breakdowns and not just from Steven, either. Connie is sure that everyone in their little immediate group breaks down once, even Garnet split once when she thought no one was watching so Sapphire could comfort Ruby. Whoever said that recovery is a long road wasn’t joking but Connie has hope for Steven. Greg works with her mom to find a therapist that would work with Steven and his gem issues. 

They all watch him too, and she knows he hates it, but he’s benefiting from it. Gone are the awful protein shakes and in their place are vegetarian dishes that Connie teaches to Pearl. Amethyst works to keep Steven’s mind occupied but she never fails to sit down with him and asks if he needs to talk. Greg brings every musical instrument he has and encourages Steven to play a different one each day. Garnet helps Steven out by teaching him mindful exercises and she incorporates a great, light workout to his morning schedule.

Sure, there are a few scares where Steven’s face glows pink and his body begins to swell, but instead of freaking out like before, they all encourage him to take a deep breath and explain what’s bothering him. It’s slow work, but it’s worth it when she hears his Song grow a little louder and more balanced every other day or so. He’s still her Steven, no matter what he feels or thinks. 

Connie finally goes home after two weeks, not because she wants to, but because Steven asks. He tells her that he doesn’t want to take her away from her studies anymore than he has to and she’s about to argue when he continues by also asking her to visit everyday. So she agrees. It’s a large improvement for him to ask for something he wants and it’s something that everyone--including his therapist--has been working on. She visits daily and it reminds her of when they were younger and hung out almost everyday. 

It’s awkward at first and neither know what to say, so they don’t say anything. It’s not until one day she brings her violin and plays Jam Buds does it break the ice. Then, things fall back into a new normal; he chats her ear off about what he does that day while she works on whatever homework she has, or they ditch their responsibilities and head down to the beach. 

It’s a homework day and she’s curled on the bean bag in her study corner of the greenhouse. She’s about to finish science for the weekend but she stops writing her study question to look up and see him staring at her. He blushes and quickly looks down at his own notebook--a journal recommended by his therapist. She raises her eyebrow but doesn’t say anything until she notices him doing it again a few minutes later. 

She stops writing mid sentence, “Yes?”

Steven’s head shoots back down towards his notebook, “Nothing.” 

“What? Is there something on my face?” Connie touches her mouth to see if there’s remaining jam from their snack earlier. 

He looks back up. “No! It’s just… Do you know that you sometimes talk outloud when you work?” 

“I do!?” No one has ever told her that before, but also to her credit she usually studies alone in her room. “Oh, jeez! I’m so sorry, I never knew!” 

Steven laughs and it’s music to her ears, literally. Notes hop along under his speech and it’s nearly back to his playful chiptune sound that relaxes her. “It’s not bad! I actually think it’s kind of cute.”

It’s her turn to blush and she looks at a pot of bluebells beside his head, “Oh.” 

“It helps me think. I know that sounds weird, but I like it when you talk. Your Song grounds me.” He’s said something similar to this before, but now she’s even more curious. “I don’t know if that makes sense.” 

She reaches out and grabs his hand, “No, Steven. It makes perfect sense! Some people work better with sounds going on or music even playing!” 

He shakes his head, an awkward smile pulling at his lips. “Yeah, but it’s not just that.” Silence rings for a second; there’s a shift in the air and the playful feeling is gone. “Your Song is… I heard… When I was, well, you know,” he still couldn’t say corrupted, “and everyone was hugging me and all, I didn’t want to turn back.” 

They haven’t really talked about his corruption much and this is news to her. She squeezes his hand tighter, “Steven, you don’t have to tell me if it’s too hard to say.” 

“No.” His voice is hoarse but his Song is steady and determined. “I need to tell you.” 

“Okay.” She says in her softest voice and she closes her notebook and looks at him more intently. 

It takes another few seconds and he stares at the floor. “It felt weird because I was me, but not? I knew some things and I knew what I was doing was wrong and I was hurting people, but I didn’t want to stop. It-It sorta felt nice to go apeshit like that, y’know?” He uses his free hand to tap a rhythm out on his notebook. “So, everyone was hugging me and I remember not caring, and the worst part was I liked it… until I heard your Song.” He finally looks at her with tears in his eyes. “It reminded me of all these good feelings and it was so strong and so loud. It was you.  _ You _ made me want to come back.”

She stares at him in shock. She’s not for sure what to say; she’s touched and honored. She’s glad that he’s back and that she was able to help him so much, but how does she voice all that. “Steven, I--” 

“You don’t have to say anything, I just thought you should know.” He pulls his hand away from hers and he uses it to cup her cheek. “You saved me, Connie.” 

She shivers when he says her name and the words are out of her mouth before she can stop them. “I like it when you say my name. Your Song does this trill and it’s beautiful.”

He laughs softly and places his other hand on her other cheek. “Not as beautiful as you.” He pulls her face forward and presses his lips against hers. “ _ Connie _ .” He says it deeper this time, and the chirp feels like it electricates her toes and fingers. 

He kisses her again and she lets him before pulling away with her eyebrows scrunched together. “Steven… what does my Song sound like?” 

He looks at her and brushes some hair off of her face, “Have I never told you?”

Connie shakes her head, “You said something once but then you said that you explained it wrong, but you never had a chance to explain.”

He takes a deep breath and stares into her eyes. “You are the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard in my entire life. I’ve heard so many different genres of music, yet nothing can compare to you. While most people have only one or two major instruments, you have so many. You have drums, strings, brass, woodwinds.” He takes a dramatic pause. “Connie Maheswaran, you are an entire orchestra.” 

Her entire face turns red and she doesn’t know what words she could even say to describe what she feels after such a moment like that. Instead, she kisses him again. She hopes that it’s enough to show her gratitude and considering the look on his face after she pulls away, it is. “Thank you.” She whispers as she presses their foreheads together. 

  
He hums his response and they stay that way for a while; enjoying each other’s presence. Connie knows that in order to grow up, things have to change--she accepts that now--but she’s now aware that she can also grow up  _ with  _ somebody, meaning that she no longer has to change alone. She would have someone going through the same problems and issues right beside her, and at the end of the day, discuss all the new and exciting things they experience. She decides that in this moment--no matter what life throws at them--she never wants a day to go by without hearing the quirky chiptune of Steven’s Song and in return, she’ll continue to be his own private symphony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments! I'm awful at responding to them, but every single one made my day! I hope you enjoyed this and maybe I'll write another SU fic, who knows!?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this idea was only supposed to be around 5k but then something happened and it ended up being close to 20k! Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading!


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